September Love Read online

  Doug laughed and said with feeling. “How could I forget? It was like asking for the hand of the maiden in the tower. Remember, I sort of presented my credentials to Kate. Jill was more open to the idea, I recall, but Kate fought the whole thing for a while. So, what’s up now?”

  “I don’t know how, but they know Kayla’s back and they’re worried. I’m sorry.”

  “Well, they can join the club.” He was suddenly serious again. “What’s actually on their agenda?”

  She told him about Jill’s call.

  “And what are you going to do?”

  “Go over there. What else can I do? But I think we—you and I—need to decide what I’m to tell them.”

  “I agree,” he said slowly, not looking at her. Then turning away from her completely, he added, “Beth, are you out of your depth with this?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He took a moment to answer, then spoke carefully. “You and Ralph raised two well-adjusted, sensible, successful young women, able to take charge of their lives.” He paused. “And I didn’t. Now you seem to be stuck with the consequences. Actually, they’re my consequences.”

  She got up and went to him. “Oh, don’t talk like this, Doug. When people are married, they share.”

  “The good, the bad and the ugly?” He was still turned away.

  “It isn’t ugly. Kayla’s made some mistakes. But Adam’s a joy.”

  “He is, isn’t he?” He sounded wistful.

  She slid her hands over his broad, bowed shoulders. “So, how should I handle my girls tomorrow?”

  He reached up and clasped one of her hands. “My gut feeling is there’s nothing like the truth—up to a point. Why don’t you tell them that, yes, Kayla’s a problem, but—and this you’d better be tactful about—this is something we—you and I—prefer to take care of ourselves. Can you do that? We decided not to tell Greg about the roof. We’re handling that ourselves. What bugs me with the next generation down is that they always rush to the rescue, when we don’t need rescuing.”

  “Good, that’s the way I’ll handle it,” Beth said, hoping she could.

  However, the next day it wasn’t that easy, especially with Jill. Beth had taken care with her makeup and clothes, but Jill wasn’t fooled.

  As soon as Beth got into the car, Jill said bluntly, “Mom, you look beat.”

  “Well, thank you,” Beth said lightly. “And you didn’t even notice my new sweater.” When shopping with Kayla, she hadn’t been able to resist this pale mauve embroidered sweater for herself. Now, with the roof expense, she rather regretted the purchase.

  “Hadn’t got to that yet,” Jill said airily. “It’s lovely, Mom. You always did have great clothing sense. That’s perfect for summer.”

  They found Kate stretched out in a hammock in the back garden of the lovely home Ian had provided for his family. Jill pulled up two lawn chairs, and they sat down. Adam headed happily for the swing.

  “Don’t ask me how I feel,” Kate said, “because I might tell you and you don’t want to hear it. The last couple of months of pregnancy are the pits. I feel like a balloon.”

  “Well, you do look like a balloon, come to think of it,” Jill said. “Shall we get to the point before your kids come trooping home from school demanding something to eat?”

  Beth plunged in. “Stop right there, girls. Yes, Doug’s daughter is back. She couldn’t make it at the rehab center again, but we’re dealing with it all right. She’s really a rather nice person.” Bite your tongue, Beth. She’s not nice at all. “If one of you girls had a problem, Doug would do everything in his power to help you. I’m sure you realize that.”

  “That’s a given, Mom,” Kate said. “Doug’s fine. But you’ve already raised your family. You’ve paid your dues.”

  “Not really,” Beth said quietly. Both daughters glanced at her sharply, on the point of arguing, but she spoke first.

  “I’m married to Doug. I’m his wife. My ‘dues,’ as you call them, include helping my husband if he needs my help. And at this time he does. And so does that little boy. No. Don’t say anything. Just pause a second and think about that. I talked to Cyrus when he was in the hospital. He reminded me of one important fact.”

  “But, Mom—” This was Jill, impatient and on the verge of annoyance.

  “He said, ‘When you do it for the least of these, you do it for Me.’ Just think about that,” Beth said, hoping she sounded decisive.

  “We are. We have,” Kate said. “And that’s important, certainly. But what in the world is that basket-case daughter of Doug’s going to do now? Has she exhausted all her options? Is she just going to hang around sponging on you and Doug, allowing you to raise her son? Answer that!” Kate was speaking unusually sharply.

  “I can’t answer that,” Beth said simply. “Ask me next week, maybe. We’re taking it a day at a time, trying to work things out, but nothing is accomplished overnight.”

  “It’s been weeks!” Jill fumed.

  “And maybe it will be weeks more. We don’t know yet. I do appreciate your concern. I really do. But I also feel that this is something Doug and I can handle. You shouldn’t worry about it.” She knew that she was drawing a line in the sand, that—probably for the first time in her life—she was separating herself from her children in a very real sense. It made her want to cry.

  Both daughters felt it, too. Kate’s expression was one of exasperation, and Jill began to drum her fingers on the arm of her chair in anger. She had rejected their help before they could even voice it.

  “In other words, ‘Butt out,”’ Jill said flatly.

  “It isn’t that,” Beth said, almost pleading. “But it’s that Doug and I…” How could she say it? How could she tell them both that when she had found Doug, she had found the only real man-and-woman love of her life, that Ralph, the father they had both loved dearly, had never been that? Kind, patient, gentle, plodding Ralph. He had deserved more from her than faithfulness and “duty.” That was her private cross to bear.

  “What is it, then?” Kate asked, moving slightly in her hammock, trying to find a more comfortable position for her small, distended body.

  “Give me some time with this,” Beth finally said, feeling helpless. “Kayla’s only been back a little while, and Adam—” She stopped. Better not to bring up the subject of Adam again, but it was too late.

  “I can probably help you there,” Kate said. “I mean, after this baby comes. I’ll be tied down anyhow taking care of my new infant. Two wouldn’t be any more trouble, and my other three are quite self-sufficient now.”

  Jill interposed. “Kate, you’re out of your mind. You’ve forgotten how much work a new baby is.”

  “Well, we could share it,” Kate protested.

  “How? I live on the other side of the city,” Jill snapped. “With Seattle traffic it took nearly forty minutes to get here today.”

  “It isn’t necessary,” Beth said decisively. “I don’t need any help. Really, I can manage quite well.” Kate would have her hands full with this new baby. It had been several years since Katie had dealt with night feedings, sudden infant illnesses and all the other crises that were part of infant care.

  Jill got up suddenly, really angry now. “Well, this is going nowhere. I’ll go push Adam’s swing. If Mom can’t face reality, it’s pointless to even consider bailing her out.”

  “Wait,” Beth pleaded, feeling her throat tighten. “Don’t take that attitude—”

  But Jill had reached the swing and gave Adam a push. He howled with delight. Beth sank back in her lawn chair.

  “What did you expect?” Kate said sourly. “Mom, you’re being made a fool of. When people love people, they hate to see people made fools of. That’s a cockeyed sentence, but I think you get my meaning.”

  “Yes, I do,” Beth said, “and don’t think I don’t appreciate you girls trying to help, but—”

  “But you and Doug want to be saps,” Kate finished bluntly.

  Bet
h didn’t answer. She was making an effort not to cry. This was the first really serious disagreement she had ever had with either of her daughters, and it hurt. More than that, she knew she was hurting them, too. Is Kayla worth this? No way! The unwelcome thought was suddenly in her mind. But Doug is. Doug is worth everything, her mind countered.

  She clung to this idea as they prepared to leave. The situation was made worse when Adam, objecting to leaving his joyous swinging, threw a real tantrum.

  “Sometimes when kids act like that, I want to throttle them,” Jill said grimly, as Beth tried to quiet the angry little boy.

  She didn’t entirely succeed, and on the way home, Adam was surly and petulant. Jill was coolly polite. The usual ten-minute drive between Kate’s house and hers seemed to take forever. How could she explain to Jill that Adam had probably never had anything in his short life that he hadn’t had to fight for, and that this was a three-year-old child’s way of doing it? She felt increasingly hopeless.

  Finally at home, she was met by Kayla. “What happened?” Kayla asked, seeing Adam’s angry, red little face.

  “Kate has swings in her backyard, and Adam didn’t want to leave— Are you going someplace?” She glanced at her watch. It wasn’t even two o’clock yet. The visit to Kate’s hadn’t lasted very long. She wished beyond anything else that Kayla would just take care of Adam for a while.

  “Yeah. Some folks are giving a bridal shower for Wanda. Somebody’s picking me up in a few minutes.”

  “That sounds like fun,” Beth said woodenly, hoping to hide how upset she felt. Kayla looked lovely. She was wearing one of the outfits they had bought together, a pale off-white skirt with pinkish highlights. “Aren’t you going to take a wrap? Don’t forget this is Seattle. If you stay after dusk, you’ll need something. Didn’t we get a little jacket that you could wear with that?”

  “Yeah, we did, but I spilled something on it. I think this will be okay. Unless—” She stopped.

  “Unless what?” Beth asked, watching Adam go over and embrace Kayla’s legs, muttering into her skirt. He was still pouting. Kayla had fixed her hair in a new way. It was very attractive.

  “You wouldn’t consider lending me your sweater, would you? Listen, baby, if you mess up Mommy’s dress, she’ll clobber you,” she added, pushing Adam away. He glared up at her and, disgusted, ran into the bed-sitter, always his haven.

  “Which sweater?” Beth asked.

  “The one you’re wearing,” Kayla said, looking impish.

  “You’d take the clothes off my back,” Beth said, trying to make a joke of it. “All right. Take it. But be careful. I paid too much for this and I knew it at the time.”

  “Oh, Beth, you are the greatest,” Kayla said happily, taking the expensive sweater.

  Again that night Beth and Doug turned on the baby monitor for Adam, as Kayla hadn’t come home from the shower. They had no idea where she was. The party must have ended hours ago.

  “I know she’s drinking again,” Doug said. “And I’m sorry your girls are upset about this situation.”

  Beth told him as tactful a version of this afternoon’s visit as she could and still remain truthful. She had vowed never again to do anything to make him feel shut out.

  “I never can tell if she’s been drinking or not,” Beth said, turning down their bed.

  “You’ve never lived with an alcoholic before.” Then he added, “Beth, I’m more sorry about this than you know.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about it,” Beth said, hoping she didn’t sound as discouraged as she felt. “Kayla certainly looked lovely when she left. She was wearing that white-and-pink skirt we got when we were shopping, and I lent her my mauve sweater, the one with the embroidery in the front and the back. She’s a beautiful girl.”

  An odd silence stretched between them.

  “Doug? Did you hear me?”

  “Yes, I’m afraid I did. I’m going to ask this, but I don’t think I’m going to like the answer.” He sounded grim and was looking at her steadily. “Tell me, Beth, why did she need to borrow your sweater?”

  “Why? Well, because she spilled something on the jacket that goes with that skirt she was wearing. Why would you ask such a question?”

  “Do you think you can remember the specific clothing items you and she bought when you went shopping? I’m no good at women’s clothing.”

  “Doug, what are we talking about? Of course I can remember what we bought. Where are we going with this conversation?”

  He sighed deeply. “It’s the same old merry-go-round. What we need to do is go and look into Kayla’s half of the bed-sitter closet.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I doubt her new friends are buying her drinks. She’s having to pay her share, and probably more. My educated guess of the moment is that she’s selling things. You said a jacket? I’ll be very surprised if she still has it. Whatever it cost you, it probably went for one-tenth its value for a bottle of vodka. Now, if you’re not up to snooping in someone else’s closet, I am. What’d the jacket look like? Or will you put your scruples aside and come with me?”

  “Oh, Doug,” Beth moaned. “She wouldn’t have done that. Surely.”

  “Sweetheart,” he said gently, “we are dealing with an alcoholic. Much as I love her, she is not a responsible person. She is an addict. She is sick.” He paused a moment. “Will you come with me?”

  “Yes,” Beth said faintly, hating the thought of it. When was this going to end?

  She felt deeply shaken. They tried to be quiet so Adam wouldn’t awaken, and they went through Kayla’s half of the bed-sitter closet. The jacket was gone. So were two other items. They shut the closet door quietly and left Adam still sleeping soundly. Where was Kayla now? Who was she with?

  Then suddenly, from out of nowhere, a question flew into Beth’s mind. Where is my jade ring? The one she had taken off and left on the kitchen window ledge yesterday. The one she hadn’t been able to find later? Oh, surely not! She mustn’t tell Doug until she had looked further. There was the possibility that she herself had put it someplace else, and would yet find it, but she felt a certainty that the jade ring was gone.

  Dolefully, not saying anything more, they went back upstairs. Doug was very depressed. She could feel it. What in the world were they going to do?

  Beth sat down on the side of the bed. “This is what Pastor Cooper meant when he told us to expect a change in Kayla’s personality.”

  “Yes, drinking does that. Any mind-altering substance does. Basically, Kayla’s a good person. But I’ve been this route before. When she’s drinking, she’s…different. And I’m not really sure what I can do about it.”

  “Well,” Beth said briskly, “there’s nothing we can do about it tonight. Morning and breakfast come around pretty fast, so I suggest we get some sleep.” She wanted, desperately, to tell him about her missing jade ring, but held her peace. But she wasn’t at all sure that Kayla was “basically a good person.”

  Doug smiled and touched her cheek briefly. “So right, as always.”

  But sleep was slow in coming to both of them. Later she was awakened by the noise from the baby monitor. A glance at the clock told her it was ten minutes past four. There were thumping and muttering sounds that couldn’t possibly be Adam.

  Quickly she slid out of bed and, struggling into her robe, headed down the stairway. She could see the ceiling light was on in the bed-sitter. When she went in, she saw Adam sitting groggily in the center of the make-down couch, and Kayla putting the embroidered sweater on a coat hanger, fumbling awkwardly.

  “Here,” Beth said. “Let me do that, and I’m going to turn off the light.” Hurriedly, she took the hanger and sweater and clicked off the light, leaving only the dim glow from the streetlight outside.

  “Oh, thank you,” Kayla muttered thickly. “That’s a lovely sweater. I gotta lotta compliments on that. Everybody loved it. S’beautiful. I…I tried not to—” She stopped, seeming to have forgotten what she had begun to sa
y. She stood swaying in the middle of the room.

  Beth went to Adam, gently laid him back down and pulled his blanket up over him, murmuring softly. Still more asleep than awake, he settled in snugly and drifted off again.

  “Let me help you,” Beth said to Kayla, and began to help her undress. When this was done, Kayla seemed to gravitate to the window seat. “Love that ole window seat,” she was crooning. So Beth got another blanket to cover her there.

  When she was sure Kayla was settled for what was left of the night, with one more glance at Adam, she left the bed-sitter.

  Doug was seated on the bottom step. “All okay?” he asked, sighing.

  “All okay,” Beth said. “And she brought back the sweater.”

  “I’m glad of that. Better hang on to it.” Again there was the grim undertone. “Might as well go on up,” he added tiredly. “I’m not quite ready to tackle breakfast preparations just yet.”

  “Neither am I,” she murmured, sliding her arm through his as he rose, and together they went back upstairs.

  Sleep was out of the question for both, but by tacit agreement, they didn’t talk about it anymore. Both lay quietly waiting for the dawn and the alarm clock’s first ping.

  Oh, dear God, what now? She was sorry for Doug. She was sorry for Adam. She was sorry her herself. And, yes, she was sorry for Kayla, too.

  Then, half sleeping, she realized she had begun to pray. Wordless, silent prayers of the mind that she didn’t understand, and didn’t need to. But it made her feel better, as praying always did. God would get them through this.

  The roofing men came when they were in the midst of the breakfast activity, so Doug had to leave her, but Adam was already dressed and into his day. Kayla was still sleeping.

  By the time the checkouts and goodbyes had been completed, it was time for the roofers’ coffee break, so Beth hurriedly heated their customary cinnamon rolls. When they had finished and resumed work, she commented to Doug, “I don’t think they get this fancy of a coffee break at their other jobs.” She was half laughing when she said it, as the men were a good-humored crew, ready to joke and clown about.