September Love Page 21

  Adam thought about her question, then he said, “She didden take it.”

  “Take what?”

  “My library card. I said she could look at it if she didden take it. And she didden. And then—” He paused, frowning slightly. “I tole her.” This was a lot of talk for Adam.

  “You told her what?”

  “I tole her she could read me a story. If she wanted. And she did.” There was a note of finality in his tone, as if that was all he was going to say about that.

  He had certainly done his best. Adam, I love you. You handled that beautifully. I couldn’t have done better myself.

  “Well, Pastor Cooper is here, Adam. I have to go talk to him. Can you play here awhile?”

  “Okay.” He slid down from his window seat and went to the toy box.

  Beth found Pastor Cooper pacing in the living room.

  “What’s going on, Beth? It sounded bad,” he said, rising from his chair.

  “It is bad. Come and sit here,” Beth said, going to one of the couches. Then she told him fully what had happened. He seemed to wince slightly at the idea of Kayla in jail.

  “I’ve heard of Daryl Taylor,” he commented. “He’s a good lawyer.”

  “Doug seems satisfied with him, but the real problem is Kayla. What can we do now? Have we done everything we can?” Despite her best effort Beth’s voice wavered. Pastor Cooper reached out and touched her hands, which were clenched in her lap. She tried to relax.

  “And I haven’t been much help,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I was thinking on the way over. Let me run this past you. Do you think we all might forget I’m the family pastor?”

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” Beth said, sensing what might be coming. Oh, no.

  “I’ve thought…about Kayla a lot. In fact, it’s hard to keep her out of my mind. Do you think there is any chance I might…just become a sort of friend of the family? With the idea that it might eventually be more?” He looked so earnest and intent that it touched her heart. “Do you know what Doug thinks about it?” he added.

  “He would be in favor of it,” Beth said steadily. Nothing but the truth would do here. “But I’m not,” she added.

  “May I ask why?”

  “Of course. Your work. If Kayla were part of your life, how could you focus on your own work?”

  “Kayla seems to be at loose ends. She doesn’t seem to have any…anchor.”

  “My point exactly. She doesn’t seem to have any real reason for living. I can’t understand her—her continual need to…”

  “To escape? That’s what addicted people are doing, Beth. They find life too difficult, for various reasons, so they find ways to avoid their problems. In doing it, of course, they create even bigger problems. I think of it as a kind of mental treadmill. It must be a terrible way to live. Is she actually back on the downward spiral?”

  “I’m afraid so. She’s drinking again, and this sudden arrest… I don’t know what’s going to happen now, or how Kayla will respond to this. Doug and I are going to pay the money she owes.”

  “That’s very generous of you.”

  “Not really. She is Doug’s daughter—” Then she heard Doug’s car in the drive. “Oh, that’s Doug. Maybe he has Kayla with him. Excuse me.” She got up and hurried to the back door.

  “Wait!” Pastor Cooper said suddenly. “I don’t think I should be here if Kayla’s with him. It would embarrass her.”

  But it was too late. They heard Doug and Kayla coming in, sounding angry and obviously in the middle of an argument. Kayla came rushing in ahead of Doug.

  “Well, I’m going to take a long, hot shower first! I feel dirty! I can’t stand being dirty!” She stopped in dismay when she saw Pastor Cooper there with Beth. Doug was right behind her.

  “Try to calm down, Kayla!” Doug was shouting. Then he, too, stopped. They obviously hadn’t expected an audience.

  For the first time in her life Beth couldn’t think of a single thing to say to smooth over an uncomfortable situation. Pastor Cooper came to the rescue.

  “It’s the nuisance of a preacher again,” he said easily. “Just pretend I’m not here, but keep in mind that this isn’t the first family argument I’ve been in on, so I’m an old hand, you might say.”

  Doug suddenly laughed, half in embarrassment, half in relief. He turned to Kayla. “Go take your shower. You’re entitled.”

  “Terrific! Great! Just what I needed!” Kayla said furiously, and dashed through the room heading for the downstairs bath.

  “Mommy!” Adam had heard her voice. He came running out of the bed-sitter, but Kayla brushed past him. They heard the bathroom door slam, and Adam in the hallway banging on the door. “Mommy! Mommy!”

  “I’ll get Adam,” Beth said desperately. She was deeply shaken. She had seen the anger, but also the panic in Kayla’s wide, frantic eyes. What a horrible situation for someone to be trapped in. It took a while to quiet Adam down and ease his hurt feelings. It was fully fifteen minutes later when she felt she could leave him to return to the living room.

  Doug and Pastor Cooper were still there, talking intermittently. Doug looked up as she came in. “I was just telling Pastor Cooper about it. Who would you guess that Kayla used her one phone call in the jail to call? Keep in mind that I’d already told her I’d get a lawyer.”

  “I have no idea,” Beth said, sitting down. Nothing Kayla did would surprise her.

  “Her dear friend, this Wanda person.”

  “But why?” Then, without speaking it, Beth knew why. Kayla was feeling guilty, frightened and surrounded by her father’s new family. This new family who didn’t seem to have any problems they couldn’t handle. People who might seem in Kayla’s eyes to be perfectly in control of their lives. Surely it must have been too much, more than she could cope with. What had she said? “I’ve messed up two men’s lives.” And here with her father’s perfect new family was the man to whom she felt attracted but with whom she was afraid to become involved. Kayla, Kayla, where is this going to end?

  “Of course she would call Wanda,” Beth said in quick understanding. “Wanda—flawed, selfish, demanding—is probably the only person Kayla’s met since she came here that she doesn’t feel inferior to. Feeling inferior can be a pretty devastating thing, Doug.”

  “I think Beth’s put her finger on it,” Pastor Cooper said softly.

  “I suppose so.” Doug’s voice was tired. “What do you think?” He was speaking to Pastor Cooper.

  “Do you know what she asked of, or said to, Wanda when she made her call?”

  “More or less. She must have told her about the arrest, her present dilemma. Apparently Wanda asked her to come over when she was released. If Beth’s right—that maybe Kayla sees Wanda as someone who really understands her particular problem—I guess it’s only natural that she’d run to her for…comfort? For reassurance?”

  The pastor was nodding. “Wanda probably looks like a safe haven. She’s not going to criticize or pass judgement on Kayla. She’s probably very understanding of Kayla’s particular demons, probably has some of her own.”

  “And in the meantime, while my daughter struggles with her demons, guess who’s caught in the middle?”

  “Adam, of course,” Pastor Cooper answered, and Beth felt a new respect for him. “That’s the real tragedy here,” he continued, his expressive eyes revealing more than he realized about his own feelings. “Adam has no idea what’s happening, or why. He’s getting a very skewed idea of the world he has to somehow live in for the rest of his life. He will try to figure out how he can best cope. And how much will his immature decisions, as he goes, damage his life? Kayla—like anyone suffering an addiction—has no idea the price she is making everybody else pay. You both do realize this?”

  “Yes, we’ve started to realize it,” Doug said, and Beth nodded grimly.

  She didn’t trust herself to speak for the moment. She ached to reach out to touch Doug, to comfort him, to comfort Pastor Cooper, but at the sa
me time she wanted to smack them both.

  Kayla isn’t worth all this!

  Half an hour later, when Kayla came back into the bed-sitter, they could hear her. There were slammings and thumpings and a couple of shouted protests at Adam. There was the opening and banging shut of the bed-sitter door, and Adam was thrust out into the hallway. They could see him from the living room, a heavy scowl on his face.

  “Mommy mad,” he said, coming straight to Beth.

  She took him up onto her lap. He would say nothing more; he was sulking.

  When Kayla came back into the living room she looked lovely. “Well, folks, your bad penny is taking off for the evening. I’m invited out.”

  Both men had stood up.

  “Do you have any money?” Doug asked, sounding uneasy.

  “Enough,” Kayla said shortly.

  “I’m just leaving,” Pastor Cooper said. “Can’t I drop you someplace?”

  Kayla studied him, then gave a sudden, brittle laugh. “Why not? You all realize, of course, that I’m going on a binge. Why shouldn’t Preacher-man take me there?” She seemed to think this was very funny.

  “Why not, indeed?” the pastor said good-humoredly. “It’s a kick and a half, isn’t it? My car, such as it is, is right out front.”

  Beth and Doug saw them off, Kayla still laughing as if everything were all some big joke. Somewhere Beth had heard about laughing to keep from crying. It seemed to fit Kayla’s mood.

  Beth was still holding Adam. Did he feel heavier? Had he possibly gained just a little more weight? She hoped so. Adam’s world might be topsy-turvy, but at least he was getting enough to eat here.

  As they shut the big front door, the phone started ringing.

  “Oh, no.” Beth sighed. “Will you hold Adam?” And as Doug took the little boy, she picked up the receiver. She wasn’t going to take any reservations. Period. Things were too confused. She answered the last ring pleasantly—and then all thought of their own problems flew from her mind.

  “Mom. It’s Jill. Ian’s taken Kate to the hospital. Can you come?” Composed, take-charge, in-control Jill was crying.

  “Yes! Of course! Where? Where?” Beth demanded.

  “Swedish Hospital. Ian called from his cell phone. They were just getting Kate into the ambulance. She went into early labor. They think she’s going to miscarry.” Then Jill was crying in earnest.

  “Come on,” Doug said. “I could hear enough. We’re headed for the hospital, right?”

  “Yes, will you—”

  “Yes. To everything. Don’t worry. I’ll handle things here. My car’s still in the drive.”

  Doug let her off in front of the huge hospital. She wished fervently that he could come up with her. But someone had to take care of Adam. Someone had to welcome incoming guests later. In a few minutes she was in the maternity ward. Ian, bless him, was there. Both her daughters were so fortunate to have good husbands.

  “Beth.” Ian came to her quickly. “They’ve taken her into the delivery room. The baby’s coming and it’s too early.” He looked desperate.

  “She’ll be fine,” Beth said, hoping and praying silently that she was right. “All we can do is wait. She’s with the experts. Have you made arrangements for the other children?”

  “Yes, one of the church women was going over to help out when Kate’s labor started. It’s too early—” His voice broke. “Mrs…. I can’t think of her name. Mrs. Olsen called me right after she called the ambulance. I don’t know how late she can stay. I should have asked. I couldn’t think.”

  “Give me your phone. I’ll call and find out.” Beth knew she sounded calmer than she felt. Mrs. Olsen could stay until four, but the children would be home from school then. Their oldest, Raymond, would handle things until his father came home. Beth forced the Kayla issue to the back of her mind.

  Then they settled in to wait an interminable amount of hours. When the doctor, still in his rumpled green cottons with the green cloth cap still on his head, came in, both Beth and Ian stood up. Ian reached over to clasp Beth’s hand. They had both been sick with worry.

  “She’s okay,” the doctor said, smiling. “And Ian, you have a lovely new daughter. And she’s okay, too. That one’s a bit scrawny yet, but give her time, she’s a little toughy. She’ll be ready to see in a few minutes. But Kate’s resting for a while. You can’t see her until later.”

  Ian sat down very suddenly in the nearest chair and Beth couldn’t hold back the tears. She wasn’t in the least embarrassed, because Ian was crying, too. They hung on to each other until a smiling nurse came and took them to the big glass wall so they could look in at the babies.

  “That’s yours,” she said, pointing to one. “That’s the new Beth.”

  The new Beth was indeed rather red and scrawny, but Ian said she was beautiful. In a little while they were allowed to look in on the sleeping Kate.

  “You couldn’t hear me,” Ian said, driving Beth home, “but I never prayed harder or longer in my life.” He looked like Beth felt: exhausted. He didn’t even come in, but elected to go straight home to tell the other children the great news.

  “I’ll stop and pick up some fried chicken for dinner,” he said. “The kids like that.”

  “Everything’s okay here,” Doug reported when Beth got into the house. “The two new guests arrived. And Adam’s decided to behave himself for a while. What do you want for dinner? I’m in a cooking mood. And no, Kayla hasn’t come back yet. She and her friend Wanda are probably out for the night.”

  “We’ll set the child monitor again,” Beth said. She was so relieved that Kate and the new baby were all right that she couldn’t be upset even about Kayla, but she felt awfully tired.

  “You look wilted,” Doug said.

  “I am. The stress, I guess.” She felt depleted. She hadn’t realized how long she had worried about Kate and this pregnancy. It had been there for ages in the back of her mind. Now it was gone and she felt somehow empty. What was it Ralph had said to her long ago, at a time when she had been desperate with worry about one of their daughters? His kindly voice echoed in her mind. “Motherhood is not for sissies, Beth.” She felt an odd need to cry, her relief was so great. Maybe she was just too tired for that, too.

  “I think it’s best if we have an early night.” Doug’s voice came into her dreamlike state. They were at the kitchen table, just finishing their meal. “I’ll see to Adam and clear things up here. Why don’t you just go up to bed? Kayla will come in when she comes in. I’ll set the monitor.”

  “Good.” She didn’t protest. “I’ll go on up.” She kissed Doug, then Adam’s upturned face, and started up the long stairway. It had never seemed so long before.

  Well, at least darling Katie’s problems were solved. She had her new baby girl, and when she woke up, she would be full of plans. Kate was such an active person, involved in so many things with her family and her church. And now Kate could fix up her little gray rental house next door where she and her first husband, Claude, had lived before his death.

  Beth paused a moment on the long stairway. The idea darted into her tired mind from out of nowhere. Such a nice little house. Compact. Snug. Only two bedrooms. No long stairways. Then it was crowded out by another thought. What am I going to do about Kayla? About Adam? I’ll have to think about it. But not now. Later.

  Wearily, she continued upward.

  During the night she was vaguely aware of two interruptions from the monitor, but Doug attended to both. Morning would come too soon.

  And it did. The next day, getting this group of guests off with a delicious breakfast in them lightened her spirits considerably. She was humming about midmorning when Kayla came slowly into the kitchen. She heard Adam before she heard Kayla.

  “Mommy, see my books?” Once again he was in the middle of the kitchen floor and, as always, he tried to get his mother’s attention. Beth felt a rush of affection for him. For the first time in his short life he was experiencing some security.


  “Hi, Beth.” Kayla’s voice was tired.

  “Sit down, Kayla. I’ll get you some coffee. Did Doug tell you the news? About Kate and the new baby?” She had already talked with Kate briefly on the phone and was delighted with the world in general. It was going to be a beautiful day, and Doug was off painting a picture of it.

  “Yeah. Great. I’m glad things were okay for her.” It was evident that Kayla was trying to sound enthusiastic. “I’m sorry about last night,” she added in a low tone.

  “What about last night?” Beth asked. At the moment nothing would make her unhappy.

  “Oh, I thought Dad would have told you. He got so mad. I do that. I go through life disgusting people. I guess that’s my mission. And I seem to have a real talent for it.” Her voice had become hard.

  For the first time Beth turned and looked at Kayla. Kayla was really angry, as angry as she had been yesterday when Doug brought her home. There was almost a snarl in her voice. And why should that be so surprising? Just because she herself was so happy, it didn’t follow that everybody else would be happy, too.

  Instinctively, Beth tried to smooth it over. “Kayla, please don’t feel like that. You’ve got a problem. We all know that. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She wanted Kayla out of this negative mood. Maybe Kayla would take care of Adam. For a change.

  “Dad says if I’m to stay on here I’ve got to shape up and help. Okay. I’ll help. I admit I haven’t been too much help to you so far—”

  Beth felt a sudden flare of anger. What had Doug said to Kayla? It would have been nice if Doug had bothered to mention it. Had he told Kayla she could live here? Permanently? It’s my house. Kayla’s eyes filled with tears and she brushed at them angrily. Self-pity. Beth thought in contempt.

  “Sit down,” Beth said, knowing she sounded grim. Well, she felt grim. “I’ll get you some coffee. What else would you like? Cereal? Toast?”

  “Whatever,” Kayla said, sitting down at the kitchen table. “But think of something—some work—I can do today.” Kayla’s voice was tight. “I told him I’d help. And I’ll help!”